Laos

After our hazardeous travel to Huay Xai we were all very excited to start the Gibbon Experience. The Gibbon experience ( www.gibbonx.org) is a conservation project started by a French guy named Jeff. The goal of the project is to stop the so-called slash and burn techniques used by farmers in Laos as well as protect wildlife from poachers. In order to do this, Jeff built 5 tree houses in the jungle, which are "rented out" to tourist. The houses are connected through zip lines through the jungle. Since the staff, food and a lot of other services are hired from local villagers, the farmers and villagers not only get educated in conservation, but they are also given financial aid in terms of increased tourism. It's actually a really well thought-out project.

However, we had all signed up for this Gibbon Experience and were all really excited when we finally got to leave. All in all, there were 10 of us going out into the jungle. One couple from Germany, one girl from New Zealand, a dude from Toronto, a British couple and the four of us. The first part of the journey was to get to the jungle through the use of an old pickup truck with benches in the back. The drive was supposed to take about 3 hours or just over 80 km. That is, the road we were taking was not an autobahn by any means. We drove on a super muddy road with half a metre of mud at times. Man was it ever fun. That is, it was fun until the first truck got stuck.. he he. The truck got stuck in about 75 metres of mud and would not move.

Eventually, after much laughter and poking fun, we managed to pull him out using the other truck. Side note: A group of about 6 cars were camping right were we got stuck as they couldn't go any further. They had been waiting for 3 days for the road to get better!!! For the next 30 mintues, we were thrown around by huge ruts, but we eventually got to our destination. Once there, we had to walk for 20 minutes in order to get to the second leg of the transport. Due to heavy rain the past 5 days, the typical bridge had been washed away, and we got our first encounter with the difficulties this trip was to bring. We had to walk accross a river (reaching up to Mahta's waist) with the bags on our heads in order to get to the other side. Fun stuff. We finally make it to the next "road" and sit down to wait for our next ride. After about 45 minutes, it finally appears. This time it was a proper off-road car. A Toyota Land Cruiser with chimney and winch. And were we ever going to need it. The road was in horrible condition. I don't even know if I would call it a road; it was more like a dirt path.

For the next 2 hours, we spun, winched, dug and walked our way to the jungle village. It was by far the most extreme thing we've ever seen someone do with a vehicle. With 10 people in the back, this off-road machine powered its way through 40 cm deep ruts and 30 degree inclines. Amazing!!!

Once at the local village, we knew that we had a 90 minute walk ahead of us, so we set off right away. One guy made friends with the local monkey, so he decided to bring it along. It was really cute and spent the next hour or so sitting on this guys head. he he. The walk took us on a steep and windy jungle path into deeper and deeper into the forest. It was really cool to actually get to spend some time in a proper tropical jungle. We walked for about an hour and a half before we reached a small hut. This was the kitchen for the treehouses and also the place where we were given our harnesses. The people living there also had a live bear and baby gibbon roaming around. They were so cute!!! The bear was about 5 months old and was really friendly. She'd come up to you and wanting to play, she would wrap her paws around your legs. Unfortunately she was also really strong, so we couldn't really roll around on the ground with her.

After putting our harnesses on, the real thrill of the trip began. We strapped onto a zip line and jumped of the edge of the plateau. WOW. We basically flew from the hill side to the nearest tree house (about 80 metres away) at a height of 40 metres above ground. Our blood was pumping, adrenaline flowing and we were really pumped when we finally got to put our bags down. Let me decribe to you how impressive this treehouse was. First of all, as mentioned above, the whole house was built in a massive jungle tree 40 metres above ground. It had three floors, running water, a shower and of course a toilet (the toilet was a porcelain squater that had no plumming, meaning your poo dropped 40 metres down.... he he.. they had a bunch of pigs on the ground ready to eat anything, so it was nice and clean). It was unreal. It was more like a open hotel than anything. Also, leading away from the tree was a number of zip lines. Once there, we were served fresh nuts, fruits and drinks, while the few of us that had gotten bitten by leechs was picking them off. Yes, Haakon was bitten, while Mahta tasted too bad and got away unharmed.

This is where the fun really started. For the next 2 hours we were shown around the zip line system and got to try all the good lines. The longest one is almost half a kilometre long and you are flying VERY high off the ground. It was awesome. We were zipping back and forth on these lines in the middle of the jungle. It was like the childhood dream of being able to fly finally came true.

After a few hours of flying, we finally came back to the first treehouse to have dniner. Our group of ten had split up, and six of us were to spend the night in this treehouse, while the other four had already left for a second treehouse. We were given an odd mix of vegetables, rice, omelette and potatoes for dinner, which really didn't have much taste, but due to the incredible atmosphere, we all enjoyed it. After the guides all left and we had the whole tree house to ourselves, everyone's childhood dreams were coming true. Soon, the moonshine was brought out (which Haakon and Paul had cleverly acquired the day before) and we spent the evening talking crap, having shots of lao lao, and playing Uno.

We were woken at 6:30 the next morning to the sound of rain and our breakfast being zipped in. Surprise surprise, we got rice, vegetables and some meat. Wait a minute... we get a vegetarian meal for dinner with an omelette and then no omlette and pork for breakfast? It just didn't make sense and we only ate what we could force down. It didn't matter though, we were going to trek to a waterfall and spend the night there. We sat around for 2 hours waiting for a guide to take us and were disappointed when they finally arrived. Apparently heavy rains made it extremely dangerous to go to the waterfall as the river we were to zip across was flooded. This meant that we would have to zip right through a strong current and it was not recommended. No problem though! We had the opportunity to zip back and forth all day long! Weeeeeeeeeee.

We spent the rest of the day doing just that. We zipped, we ate, we swapped treehouses and had a bug-killing competition at night (Haakon was the big winner with over 30 kills!).

We were scheduled to leave the next morning and head back to Huay Xai. Heavy rain made for both an adventurous (and leech-infested) walk into the village and drive into the city. Our driver made it to the half way point gracefully, we give him props for his imaculate driving which is quite a novelty in Laos (as our second driver proved true). He brought us to our lunch destination where everyone was overjoyed to have their first Beer Lao in 3 days! What a feeling, a cold refreshing beer after being thrown around in the back of a truck for 2 hours... well deserved! Our second driver didn't seem to be quite as talented in his driving, but we still made it back alive (muddy, but alive!)

After our "luxurious" hotel in Luang Prubang we were sad to say goodbye, but nevertheless excited about going to the so called Gibbon Experience (you will find out later in the blog what it's all about). However, first we had to get to the border town of Huay Xai in Laos. Since there are no roads leading there, our options were simple. We could either take the slow boat (2 days) or catch a speed boat (6 hours). Seeing that two days on a wooden bench sounded like a nightmare, we opted for the speedy boat.

The boat left at 8.30 in the morning, and by 7.30 we were all ready to leave. By all, I mean, Mahta, Paul, Clare and myself. Since the pier was 7 KM outsidef the city, we hired a tuk-tuk to take us there, but it would be a ride worth remembering. The tuk-tuk we had asked was of the regular shitty kind you find in Laos, meaning it was basically an old motorcycle with a hanger. We all got in the back (with our luggage), and told the driver we were ready. He twists the handlebar and gives the bike all the power he has, only to find out that we are stuck on the hill. Shit. No threat though, Haakon gets out and pushes the tuk-tuk from behind until we get enough speed to start going. So far, so good. As you can imagine, the weight of all four of us in the back was obviously way too much for the bike to handle. The ride to the pier was slow and at times we thought his bike would break. However, it is not until we reach the final uphil that it happened. The bike overheats, he stops, and we all quickly realize that there is no chance in hell this bike will ever start again. Poor guy. All he wanted was to get a nice fat fare early in the morning, but instead the four whities are too fat for his tuk-tuk. The thing was completely out of comission, so we were forced to take another one the last 5 miutes to the pier. We did eventually get there though.

After paying about 30 bucks each, we were secured a nice ticket on the speed boat to Huay Xai. We had heard from other people that it would be loud and uncomfortable, but nothing had prepared us for what we saw next. After walking down the hill to the water (ie the Mekong River) we see 4 boats laying there. They all look like big longtails (meaning they were about a metre wide and 5 metres long) with some weird makeshift engine on the back and a long stick with a propeller. The next thing that happens is that the driver hands us a lifejacket each (fair enough, safety first) and a some crash helmets (what the fu$%^% is this for). The helmets looked like motorbike helmets, with the screen and everything. Oh shit, we were all thinking, what the hell have we just signed up for.

We all cram onto the boat, and the driver fires up the engine. With a huge roar and water splashing everywhere we take off going upstream on the Mekong River. It's at this point we realize what the crash helmets are for. We must have been doing about 60 km/h in this dinky little thing called a boat. It was crazy guys. We were moving sooo fast.. All good though, until it begins to rain. An i'm not talking about no spitting raindrops we get in the western world, I'm talking about the big fat stuff that only monsoon countries see. The type that you think you can just lay down horizontally and swim in mid air. So, imagine this, we are zooming upstream in this dinky little boat, doing about 60 clicks when it starts to pour down. When you do that kind of speed, and the water droplets are the size of small grapes, it begins hurting, so we tried to the best of our abilities to cover up. We were sitting there with our helmets on, our rain jackets accross our legs and soaking wet.

We did this for about 3 hours before we finally reached our lunch location; a tiny raft like place which served food. And guys, let me tell you, the soup Haakon ordered must have been made with toilet water (Well, I guess that's impossible cuz the toilet waste flowed directly in the Mekong). It was worse than any soup he'd ever tried. Disgusting. Anyways, after about 45 min, we changed boats (don't know why), added 3 more poeple (which just cramped us more) and continued upstream (oh, when will it be over?). Since we now knew what to expect, this leg of the journey was better than the previous one, but yet it was horribly uncomfortable. About half an hour before we reach Huay Xai, we stop for another change of boats (still don't know why). No problem, right? Wrong. Big problem! See, what happened when the dork of a driver tried to move our bags onto the next boat is that he drops Haakon's backpack in the Mekong River. That's right, the whole bag is now floating in the river. DAMN, were we all pissed. All the people that we had met that day had been really rude and not nice, and this was just the last thing we needed. Oh well, we couldn't really do much but suck it up, and before long, we had finally made it to the final destination.

P.S. when I say that the people on the boat were not nice, I really mean it. Next day, we met a couple from Britain who had been on the same boat, just one day after us, who were forced to stay overnight at the shitty little place we had lunch, because they refused to pay more money to the driver. They only managed to get to the final city because a Turkish family felt sorry for them next morning and told the driver that unless they were allowed to come with them they would ask for a refund. The British couple were super upset, but were laughed at by the locals... so sweet of them.

Our 5 hour "bus" ride was brutal. First of all, it wasn't really a bus. It was a pick up truck with 2 narrow wooden benches in back (known as a sangthaw) which makes for very sore bums. Second of all, it was another long, winding, and bumpy road which made for bobbing necks and throbbing heads. However, we arrived at a comparitively HUGE metropolis of Xam Neau. Well, it was in fact a small city with no more than 50,000 people, but we were excited to find food, electricity and guesthouses!

First things first, we need food! We soon found a restuarant to satiate our grumbling tummies and this is where the laziness of the Laos people came shining through. So, we walk in, look at the menu and order our food; nothing out of the ordinary. But then, we wait and wait and finally after 45 minutes we receive 2 omelets which made for a quarter of our total order. Uhhh, where's the rest? The lady continued to casually cut up vegetables with her baby crying on her hip and a few minutes later another lady arrived on her scooter with a some grocery bags. This should have been an indication of a little delay, but we thought these people knew what they were doing... Of course they did, they ran a restaurant!! However, after an hour and fifteen minutes of waiting, there was still no cooking activity in the kitchen; can you believe that the stove wasn't even turned on? Oh the tummies are grumbling! It was time to step our foot down, but as we started to complain the ladies decided they didn't want to hear it AND THEY KICKED US OUT! Hang on, what just happened? Still keeps me up at nights...

The night life in Xam Neau was intense, so intense that there wasn't a living soul out after 8 pm! We could've started to chase bats as it looked really tempting when the man in Nam Soi did it, but we decided to gather in Clare and Paul's room to play Scrabble instead.

We woke up the next morning with the ambition to see the coolest tourist sites around! There were a total of two. The bigger attraction was the Pathet Lao Caves in a neighbouring town of Vieng Xai. The other was a waterfall on the way to the caves. We decided to rent scooters and see all that we can, it was going to be an exciting day! We even bought some fruit and bread to take on a little picnic.

Off we went to the waterfall... we drove and we drove and we never found it. Turned back and around, still didn't find it. The only thing that came out of it was H&M's scooter starting to fall apart; pieces flew off and were never recovered, oops. Haakon nicely repaired it with whatever we had around, hopefully we would be able to make it back home without getting stuck on the way. Still looking for the waterfall, we finally decided to ditch the scooters and walk up a rocky path that seemed to have potential for leading us to the right place, but we were a little disappointed to find nothing but steep and slippery rocks. Disappointed and dehydrated, we decided it was time for our picnic. Oooh, we had the greatest pineapple ever! And the fact that it was only 30 cents made it even yummier! After our picnic we decided to give up on the waterfall and head for the caves.

What a touristy day! We had a guide walk us around some caves which served as shelters and intricately planned homes to Pathet Lao leaders for 10 years while the United States continuously bombed the region in oppostition to the existance of Northern Vietnamese in Laos. The natural limestone caves had many bedrooms, offices and they each had an emergency room with steel doors and huge oxygen machines in case of a chemical attack.
Our guide told us a sad story of how his father, a farmer, was killed in the fields by American war planes. His father, his friend and all living animals in sight were mercilessly shot to death. He also said that during the time of war, each and every family would be responsible for making their own cave in order to acquire protection from bombs and war planes. We left the caves feeling heavy in our hearts.

We spent another Scrabble night in Xam Neau and headed for Phonsavan the following morning. The bus ride was quite normal. Chickens and pigs were constantly being loaded and unloaded at various little villages along the way, Laotians were unable to stomach the curves and twists of the road and were therefore constantly vomiting off the bus.

We finally arrived in Phonsavan, another small city with about 50,000 people and nothing to do and nothing fun to eat. Great! One thing that was quite unique about Phonsavan was all the war relics that restaurants and hotels had used as decoration. Apparently locals go hunting for bombs. They whip out their family metal detector and search for bombs buried underground. Then they obviously soak these bombs in water for about a week in order to disarm the bombs! Safety first! Some people decide to keep the bombs in order to provide tourists with knowledge about the war, while others choose to sell them as metal scraps for $200!

After a few hopeless trials at finding accomodation, Clare and Mahta were sent on a mission to find somewhere nice... Of course, a huge rain storm started to pour down on us, but don't worry! The boys were dry; Paul and Haakon stayed warm in a cafe drinking refreshing Beer Lao. Drenched from their walk around town, the girls came back with big smiles on their faces; we knew we had scored the best place in town. Cutest little bungalows at $4/night! The boys didn't stand a chance to win the "best accomodation hunters" award!

Phonsavan had nothing to offer us but rain, terrible food and some boredom. However, we managed to book a tour (yay, more touristy stuff!) to the Plain of Jars for the following morning. What are these jars you ask? Well, nobody really knows. The huge 2000-year-old jars have been found in various sites around Phonsavan and are of unknown origin. They are believed to have been used for burial purposes, either as coffins or urns, but no one is entirely sure yet.

After our 2 nights in Phonsavan and a long time since we were on the tourist trail we headed for the much-touristed city of Vang Vieng. This bud ride was also pretty normal, kids were scared of sitting near us, people were still vomiting and there was a strange man on the bus with an AK-47. Hmmm, what have we gotten ourselves into? Luckily, the AK-47 was tucked away throughout the trip and no body died! Wicked!!

The boys were sent off to find accomodation here and they did not come close beating the girls. 1-0 for the girls. YEAH! $3 for a dungeon of a room didn't seem like a winner. And Haakon's sandals were stolen the first night he left them outside the guesthouse. Good old tourist trail, travellers stealing from one another. How is a giant with size 12 feet supposed to find decent sandals in Southeast Asia? Shame on you!

Vang Vieng was our chance to load up on greasy Western food and we loved every second of it! Pizzas, pastas, burgers and fries became our daily diet and rice was long forgotten. This was also our chance to kick back, relax and bum around... We walked around town, had dinner, stuck around to watch a movie. No stress, no hassles. Really refreshing!

Vang Vieng is famous for it's tubing and the following day, we decided to see what the fuss is all about. We rented an inflated inner tube of a tractor tire and left all our valuable in the dry comfort of our room, so we unfortunately have no photos of this day! We spent 7 hours drifting down the Nam Song river, drinking beer and buckets, and swinging like monkeys. There are numerous kick-ass bars set up all along the river and they pull you into their bar with a giant bamboo stick so that you can have the time of your life! Each bar had it's very own swing where you would jump straight back into the river! Some of the swings were really high, about 10 m drop, and swimming back to the bar became more and more challenging as more and more alcohol was consumed. Ahh, wish we had some pictures!

We spent a few nights unwinding in Vang Vieng before heading to an even more touristy town of Luang Prabang. Guess what? The girls scored again! $5 for a beautiful hotel room that we still dream about! 2-0 for the ladies!!!! On a rooooollll. Luang Prabang, surrounded by the Mekong and Nam Khan Rivers, is a cute little town of 25,000 people and a huge number of temples. We tried spending a day touring around the temples in the scorching heat but quickly realized how tired we were of touristing around. Needless to say, temple-ing came to a sudden stop!

Clare and Mahta had to contain themselves at the night market. So many things, so little space. They decided to browse the first night and return the following night with a clear idea of what they wanted, just to avoid impulse shopping. Everybody knows the consequences of impulse shopping, oooh woe is me.

We also had the opportunity to visit the waterfalls of Tat Kuang Si some 30 KM outside of Luang Prabang. It was a treaherous ride on the back of a tuk tuk and yet we still saw some brave tourists biking up and down the dirt roads on the crappiest bikes ever. Props to them! The waterfall was beautiful and we had the opportunity to swim around and hike up to the top of the falls. Haha, there weren't many people going up there and we were curious why. Of course, we found out why.... there wasn't really much of a view up there and the hike up proved to be how can i put it? difficult..

Luang Prabang, especially our wicked hotel room, treated us nice... and soon we would be leaving Laos.

After "dinner" we were looking for something to do and of course, there was absolutely nothing around, so we decided to go for a walk. After our unadventurous walk we returned to the village and saw all the villagers watching our host chase a bat with a giant bamboo stick.. that was their entertainment for the night! What a life! Surely twiddling your thumbs is more exciting... Throughout the evening Haakon showed the kids some magic tricks, Clare played cards with the daughter of our host, Mahta fell asleep and Paul anxiously waited for the minutes to pass. By 9:30 the entire village had gone to sleep.

Next morning we tried to sleep in as much as possible to decrease our waiting time, but the family had numerous people coming in an out and needless to say, they needed their living room which we were sleeping in. We woke up starving but quickly lost our appetite when the daughter had - for BREAKFAST - a handful of stiky rice plus a sweet we had given her. Where do these people get their vitamins from? I'm sure that girl would rather have brussels sprouts! Anyways, we didn't want breakfast, we just wanted the bus!!! Paul and Clare decided to shower in order to waste 20 minutes and decrease waiting time! As soon as they finished their shower and we were all packed and ready to leave, the most heavenly thing happened! The bus arrived 2 hours too soon! We were absolutely stoked and jumped at the bus! We were finally on our 5 hour journey to Xam Neau, what a relief...