Boating

After our "luxurious" hotel in Luang Prubang we were sad to say goodbye, but nevertheless excited about going to the so called Gibbon Experience (you will find out later in the blog what it's all about). However, first we had to get to the border town of Huay Xai in Laos. Since there are no roads leading there, our options were simple. We could either take the slow boat (2 days) or catch a speed boat (6 hours). Seeing that two days on a wooden bench sounded like a nightmare, we opted for the speedy boat.

The boat left at 8.30 in the morning, and by 7.30 we were all ready to leave. By all, I mean, Mahta, Paul, Clare and myself. Since the pier was 7 KM outsidef the city, we hired a tuk-tuk to take us there, but it would be a ride worth remembering. The tuk-tuk we had asked was of the regular shitty kind you find in Laos, meaning it was basically an old motorcycle with a hanger. We all got in the back (with our luggage), and told the driver we were ready. He twists the handlebar and gives the bike all the power he has, only to find out that we are stuck on the hill. Shit. No threat though, Haakon gets out and pushes the tuk-tuk from behind until we get enough speed to start going. So far, so good. As you can imagine, the weight of all four of us in the back was obviously way too much for the bike to handle. The ride to the pier was slow and at times we thought his bike would break. However, it is not until we reach the final uphil that it happened. The bike overheats, he stops, and we all quickly realize that there is no chance in hell this bike will ever start again. Poor guy. All he wanted was to get a nice fat fare early in the morning, but instead the four whities are too fat for his tuk-tuk. The thing was completely out of comission, so we were forced to take another one the last 5 miutes to the pier. We did eventually get there though.

After paying about 30 bucks each, we were secured a nice ticket on the speed boat to Huay Xai. We had heard from other people that it would be loud and uncomfortable, but nothing had prepared us for what we saw next. After walking down the hill to the water (ie the Mekong River) we see 4 boats laying there. They all look like big longtails (meaning they were about a metre wide and 5 metres long) with some weird makeshift engine on the back and a long stick with a propeller. The next thing that happens is that the driver hands us a lifejacket each (fair enough, safety first) and a some crash helmets (what the fu$%^% is this for). The helmets looked like motorbike helmets, with the screen and everything. Oh shit, we were all thinking, what the hell have we just signed up for.

We all cram onto the boat, and the driver fires up the engine. With a huge roar and water splashing everywhere we take off going upstream on the Mekong River. It's at this point we realize what the crash helmets are for. We must have been doing about 60 km/h in this dinky little thing called a boat. It was crazy guys. We were moving sooo fast.. All good though, until it begins to rain. An i'm not talking about no spitting raindrops we get in the western world, I'm talking about the big fat stuff that only monsoon countries see. The type that you think you can just lay down horizontally and swim in mid air. So, imagine this, we are zooming upstream in this dinky little boat, doing about 60 clicks when it starts to pour down. When you do that kind of speed, and the water droplets are the size of small grapes, it begins hurting, so we tried to the best of our abilities to cover up. We were sitting there with our helmets on, our rain jackets accross our legs and soaking wet.

We did this for about 3 hours before we finally reached our lunch location; a tiny raft like place which served food. And guys, let me tell you, the soup Haakon ordered must have been made with toilet water (Well, I guess that's impossible cuz the toilet waste flowed directly in the Mekong). It was worse than any soup he'd ever tried. Disgusting. Anyways, after about 45 min, we changed boats (don't know why), added 3 more poeple (which just cramped us more) and continued upstream (oh, when will it be over?). Since we now knew what to expect, this leg of the journey was better than the previous one, but yet it was horribly uncomfortable. About half an hour before we reach Huay Xai, we stop for another change of boats (still don't know why). No problem, right? Wrong. Big problem! See, what happened when the dork of a driver tried to move our bags onto the next boat is that he drops Haakon's backpack in the Mekong River. That's right, the whole bag is now floating in the river. DAMN, were we all pissed. All the people that we had met that day had been really rude and not nice, and this was just the last thing we needed. Oh well, we couldn't really do much but suck it up, and before long, we had finally made it to the final destination.

P.S. when I say that the people on the boat were not nice, I really mean it. Next day, we met a couple from Britain who had been on the same boat, just one day after us, who were forced to stay overnight at the shitty little place we had lunch, because they refused to pay more money to the driver. They only managed to get to the final city because a Turkish family felt sorry for them next morning and told the driver that unless they were allowed to come with them they would ask for a refund. The British couple were super upset, but were laughed at by the locals... so sweet of them.

The last time we updated the blog, we had spent 2 days in Phnom Penh but the fun stories started after that.

On our third day in the city, Halvor decided to bring out his clean side and opted for using a cotton swab as the appropriate tool to clean his ear. BAD IDEA!!! See, the thing is that Haakon had brought these really crappy, no-name cotton swabs from Canada, which he gave to Halvor. He he.. Thirty minutes later, he comes out laughing. Apparently he had pushed the q-tip so far into his tiny ear that the cotton part fell off the "body" of the q-tip and lodged itself inside the ear canal. In other words, Halvor was now stuck in Phnom Penh with half a q-tip inside his ear. Kinda funny. Seeing that it was no real emergency, we waited until late afternoon next day, where the funny story ends. Getting the q-tip out of the ear proved to be of little amusement to Haakon and Mahta, as all that was required was an ear flush.. bummer, no surgery?

The two remaining days we had in Phnom Penh, we spent visiting various sites around the city. We went to one former school which was used as a prison under the Khmer Rouge regime. For more than 3 years, 100 people were tortured and beaten to death every day!!! The fact that this was only 30 years ago, makes it even more extreme. All in all, the Khmer Rouge Regime (or Pol Pot regime) killed between 1.7 and 3 million people in a matter of 4 years. Their preferred method of killing was through the bamboo stick lashes, and any intellectual or prominent person was at a higher risk of being captured and tortured. The goal of the regime was to make a pure agricultural society.. WOW!

We left Cambodia and Phnom Penh after 5 relaxing days. We opted for the slower, but more scenic route down the Mekong Delta to Vietnam, which ended up being really nice. For 5 hours, we cruised down the Mekong river and other smaller canals to a place called Chau Doc. The river looks exactly the way Hollywood projects it, and half the time Haakon was getting Apocalypse Now flashbacks he he

Chau Doc is a small city along the Mekong river, and apparently, 3 white people with big backpacks is not an everyday sight. Kids yelling "Hello" after us and people had to take double looks all the time. Kinda cool to be an alien for a while. We spent one full day in Chau Doc cruising around the country side and up a mountain with our super cool mopeds. (Halvor ended up with one that had a bum horn, he he..)

Seeing that boats were slow and expensive, our next journey was undertaken by the means of an old fashioned bus. When we started the 4 hour ride, we each had 2 seats and were cruising along nicely. Within 1.5 hours, our space had been reduced to barely one seat each. Not fun. The only cool thing was that our bus was filled with cigarette smugglers, the youngest one being 12 years old, and the oldest one being 70-80 years old. They all had about 1000 packs (YES, 1000 PACKS!!!!!) attached to their bodies and then hidden under HUGE clothes. They looked ridicilous, and I think you could spot them a mile away. Have no clue how they did it..

Our bus dropped us off in Can Tho, which is the biggest city in the Mekong Delta. The city wasn't that exciting, but we spent the next morning cruising down the Mekong river to a massive floating market. Really nice. We then left the main river and went down through smaller canals and even stopped at some fruit gardens. We can now all proudly say that we have tried Snake Wine and been offered to pick our own chicken for lunch..

We took a small bus from Can Tho to Saigon (Ho Chin Minh City), where we have spent the last two days. Not much to report, besides Haakon's tape worm scare...

(insert by Halvor and Mahta here)
Conversation went something like this:
Haakon (in the bathroom, immediately after pooeing) - Uuuuh, guys.. I think we have a problem... Can you come in here
Mahta - What? Why? I don't want to come in there (reluctantly walks into the bathroom)
H&M - Halvor!!! Get in here! This is serious!!!
Halvor - Uh what... I really really don't want to (even more reluctantly goes into the bathroom)
Haakon - Check it out, I don't know if I shat him (2cm long centipede) out or if it was in there before
Centipede (in toilet struggling to get out) - Hey guys, give me a hand, I'm all feet. This toilet bowl is friggin slippery, I can't get out. Hey, what's that's flash? Here, let me pose for you. Take it away... No, wait! don't flush! Nooooooo....
(insert ends, back to Haakon's story)
so we took the pictures to a nice doctor who told us that it was nothing but a tape worm scare, Haakon was good to go!

... and yeh, we had a kickass ride on motorcycle taxis today. Quite insane with Saigon traffic!

For now, stay cool,

Cheers,

H H M